11.12.2008

when did i get so old?

I've been fighting off a nasty cold for about a week and 1/2 now. Whenever I have a moment to rest, it gets the best of me and I crash. I spent pretty much my whole weekend sniffin nose spray and chillin on sudafed. I had off yesterday, and had every intention of going to the gym and trying to get some sort of routine going, but no, my cold won again. I slept pretty much all day. Then today, because of my excessive sleeping, my lower back is a sorts of tight and painful. The only way my lower back feels good is if I am sitting up indian style... which would be great if my left knee actually bent. O.L.D.

I'm feeling much better about Ray and I this past week. He spent a couple of hours comforting me a few nights ago when we both know he has a lot of work that he should have been doing for Miami. It's been really hard to deal with what has been going on with my family. I'm so sick of dealing with them all. I'm tired of being bombarded with neurotic negativity everytime my phone rings. Seriously, every single time my phone rings, I feel nothing but anxiety and resentment. A good day ruined by a single reminder of the reality of my family. This anxiety and sour mood has been spilling over into my work life. I'm just so tired and worn down and feeling like no one has my back. Well, in theory they do, but in reality, their hands are just as tied as mine. You can't choose the students you teach, but you can choose to approach each day with a positive attitude. Some days it's just harder than others.

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