Life is stuck in a standstill. I'm teetering on the edge of things. Somehow I've caught my balance and wound up standing on the edge for a bit too long and I'm tired of it. Progress and change are essential to who I am. I don't do well with the same old routine for too long. It's been TOO long. Five years of little to no change... little progress... But I'm not sure what the next move is. Do I move to a new apartment? A new city? A new cabin in the woods? What would be best for me? How can I make any decisions when Ray is so comfortable with the way things are? He says that if i just go for it and say "I'm moving here.. I'm doing THIS", he'll go along with it. I would rather we make these kind of decisions together. I want to take risks and make changes TOGETHER... not because I say I want to do it, but because we BOTH want it. I wouldn't be happy if I made a decision (like moving out of the city) and he followed and hated his life because of it.

All I know is that I need to make things happen for myself and stop waiting around for others to do it for me. Life's too short to stand around doing nothing.